I have always wondered why things happen in life the way it actually does. Why is life the way it is, for me and for others? What could be the reason? What could be the logic? Who could be master mind behind this? Who is to be blamed? Who is to be acknowledged or appreciated? Ah… numerous questions keep running through my mind every time things happen in my life and I hear various stories from people around me! I thought maybe it was best not to think about it, or more frankly it’s best not to blog about it! But then it has been haunting me for a long time now and I finally decided yes it’s time I finally pen it down! Guys please bear with me and please don’t judge me or my blog!
I have always sought answers for the questions above, spiritually and practically! If we consider spirituality then it’s a huge debate in itself that I don’t want to get into here and it’s a never ending one too! I am trying my best to address this question practically and trying to reason it out as to why do things happens the way it does? Why are few of us happy? Why few of us are so very unhappy?
A couple of months back I saw this movie ‘Luck By Chance’. The movie is one of the best movies that I have watched for a long time now. And it left me really disturbed and I have wanted to write a blog about the movie for long time now! The story of the movie revolves around the choices that each of the protagonists i.e. the hero and heroine in the movie make to succeed in their struggling career as actors. The hero who aspires to become a hero in movies does whatever it takes to become a successful actor. He is a go getter and bends a lot of rules, ethical and non ethical to make it big! To fulfil this dream of his, he lets go of his love, his family, friends and his moral values too! And that is the choice and sacrifice that he makes to move up the ladder in the highly competent world of movies. Whereas the heroine of the movie, though she intends to become a successful actress, she is strongly bound by her values, her love and friends. She makes compromises in her career and her success in it for the values and morality that she strongly believes in! And even better she is happy making her choices and preferences. Hence the movie ends with the message that life is all about the choices we make and we are solely responsible for it!
Hmmm that movie left bells ringing in my mind! For days and months I was disturbed by the movie. I thought, gosh maybe for all the ‘n’ number of questions in my mind that kept haunting me all the time, here is the answer and it’s pretty obvious! We are responsible for the way our life turns out to be, be it happy or sad, success or failure, rich or poor, hardworking or lazy, good or bad etc. It all lies in us! All the problems and solutions lie within us after all! We are responsible for what we are today and what we will become tomorrow! Agreed circumstances, situations, relatives, friends, family members, loved ones, etc influence them all. But then those are factors that are constant for all of us. All of us in this world are exposed to it at various degrees and all of us are largely affected by it. But then irrespective of what the factors are, the choice the ultimate decision, the final call is ours! It’s always us! We are left with the authority of making the choices and so are we equally responsible and eligible to bear the repercussions and outcomes of this decisions which most of us many a time refuse to do!
I do understand that we know this all! We definitely know it all! But then again how often do we realize it and actually acknowledge it? How many of us have the guts to tell, yes today I am a failure because of the choice and decisions I made in the past! Yes today I am seeing this day and here I am because of what I did yesterday! Hmm not many of us will do that! We always try to find reasons. We always try to give excuses and defend ourselves. We always try to protect us with the blanket of pity and self empathy so that we don’t have to face ourselves and answer our conscience that yes, I am responsible for it! I am the culprit behind it! I am to be accused! I am to be blamed!
Here are the examples of few people in my life who made their choices when they had to and hence wrote the script of their own lives! They are the masters of their own destinies and they stood by their choices and preferences at times of good and bad! They faced the highs and lows of their lives, faced the storm with a brave heart and alluring smile even when the times were testing and demanding! They always knew what they wanted and the cost they had to pay for it! They chose to do whatever they did for their own good reasons and judgements that only can they justify and defend.
A very close friend of mine made a decision two years back that her parents and their happiness were most important to her over her love! She let go off her love because she thought that was the right thing to do for herself and her parents. She sacrificed her love with a heavy heart to cherish the smile on her parents’ faces and live up to their expectations. Today, she is happily married to the guy chosen by her parents and is leading a normal life with her husband. This was the choice that she made then when she had to choose between her parents and her love. She was well aware of the compromises that she made for her parents sake and she was happy to make them. Hmmm hats off to you dear for your steel nerves and the selfless love for your parents. Not many are actually capable of doing what you did!
My manager at my previous company used to very often say, ‘I always had a choice to make – to either be on the management side or the employee side of the table and I chose to be on the management side, always! My choice to represent the management may not be the best of the decisions and if I were to remain as an employee in my career span then I could have gone places! Yet here I am with a huge bank of experience in life and career and I have seen all types of firms and managements in my career!’ Yes Sir, hats off to you again, for being there on the management side and all the knowledge and experience that you have gained over the years. I am even more glad and grateful that I got the wonderful opportunity of working under you and gaining great valuable insights from you and your experience.
A very close friend of mine again, let go off his plans to work after his under graduation, go abroad and pursue his masters, stayed back and completed his masters in one of the local management institutions in the city right after his under graduation, though his career orientations and passions were different did a gracious and noble act of pursuing a totally different path in his career and also would be settling much earlier than his other pals for the sole reason – the love of his life! His selfless love for her has made him face numerous challenges in life and he has always chosen her over his any other aspirations and dreams! He is a man of honour and great virtue! He is undoubtedly a man of selfless deeds! Hats off to you my friend! She is the luckiest soul on this phase on earth!